Dear Santa,

I just want you to know that this is my favorite time of the year.  I know how busy you are because I see you at Christmas parties, at the mall, on T.V., and pretty much everywhere; must be the magic of Christmas.  I don’t want to bother you but I wanted you to know that I have been a very good boy this year.  Oh, some of the other boys and girls in the mortgage industry may not agree, but they’re just poo-poo heads.  Is that a bad word Santa?  If it is…I’m in deep $%&!  Oops, looks like mommy is going to feed me some more Irish Spring for dinner…please don’t fill her stocking with soap this year.  Santa, I’m writing you this letter not for me but to give you some ideas what to get for other boys and girls.  I decided to do this after watching Ellen with my mommy.  She is always giving stuff away on her show, and when she does people are really happy.  All I want this year is for people to be happy…pinky swear!   Here is my list of different gifts you can give for some other boys and girls.

1. Justin Trudeau –  Zig-Zag rolling papers
2. Jim Flaherty – A Monopoly game, he really loves real estate
3. Mayor Rob Ford – Socks, to wear or stuff into his mouth
4. AL Gore & David Suzuki – A Hummer
5. Kathleen Wynne, Premier of Ontario – A subscription to the Toronto Star.  It’s the newspaper that ignored her  in favour of Rob Ford
6. Miley Cyrus – Therapy
7. President Obama – A Pinocchio doll
8. Billy Bob Jackson from Mobile Alabama – A gun…he’s the only American without one
9. Prime Minister Steven Harper – A hockey stick…to beat Mike Duffy with
10. All the mortgage brokers in Canada – A time machine…so we can all go back to 2006

Thank you for reading my letter Santa.  I have a special surprise for you when you come down my chimney.  Instead of milk and cookies, I’m going to leave a snifter full of Courvoisier XO cognac, a plate full of thinly sliced prosciutto and a Rocky Patel #5 cigar. I figured you might like that – given the odor when I sat on your lap to get my picture taken at the mall last week.

Until next time

Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah