My name is Boris, and I’m an Air Canada Air Miles junkie.  It’s an insidious disease, an addiction that creeps up on you slowly.  But when it finally takes hold, you’re left with little choice but to succumb.  The addiction is so consuming that you end up making really stupid decisions – like booking a flight from Toronto to New York, by way of Manchester, England, to earn an extra 47 points.  Sure, the flight is 23 hours long, but you’re and addict so time is irrelevant…and there’s an extra 47 points to earn!

 Simply stated, loyalty programs work.  Thus the reason we’ve seen a proliferation of these programs over the last 10 years. The programs are so prevalent today that I actually find myself saying “no thank you” to many programs, which is odd. Mr. Bozic, we would like to give you free stuff, and my answer is “Nah, I can’t be bothered”.  There’s an explanation for that thought process, some things are just not worth the effort.  There’s a big difference between free fast food and a free flight. I have to hand it to Air Canada, when it comes to a loyalty rewards program; they’re good, really good.  It’s a shame that doesn’t always translate to great customer experiences. 

Regular readers of my blog know that over the years I have shared some of my flying experiences with Air Canada. Like a couple years ago when an Air Canada attendant in Mexico wouldn’t let me board because my name wasn’t on a list which was printed.  It was in the computer, but….I have to stop now because if I keep going down memory lane I may put my fist through my computer screen.  Deep breath…on we go.  Anyway, for years I was frustrated with Air Canada because I’m loyal flyer of their robust airline, and I didn’t feel appreciated.  In fairness to Air Canada, they’ve addressed an issue that has pissed off many a frequent flyer, the boarding process.  One of the rewards for reaching certain status levels with Air Canada is priority boarding.  But if everyone has status, and boards at the same time, what’s the point?  Well, it looks like Air Canada has finally addressed that issue, and actually may have made the boarding process more efficient.

Here’s their solution, they’re finally doing what many other airlines are doing, boarding by zone.  It seems to have brought order to the boarding process, and if Air Canada stays committed to it, grumbling by frequent flyers may subside, somewhat. Here’s how it works.  Zone 1 – Passengers sitting in first class.  They board first, not to get comfortable, but to be in place so you can see them sitting there when you board. If you make eye contact with those sitting in nose bleed class, they respond with a contemptuous look, while saying to themselves,”Back to peasant row you go”.  Zone 2 – Passengers who are frequent flyers – what a privilege, priority boarding to get unencumbered access to the overhead bin.  Oh Air Canada…Stop…you’re spoiling me.  Then it’s boarding for those who need assistance – families with children. It takes extra time to drag and tag the baby car seat, stroller, playpen and jolly jumper.  And those traveling with nannies can really slow down the boarding process; especially when mommy and daddy try to stuff the nanny in the overhead bin. Here’s what I never understood, if families with children require extra time to board, why don’t they require extra time to disembark? As soon as the plane reaches the gate, mommy pops up, cradles child like a football, and moves down the aisle like running back Marshawn Lynch of the Seattle Seahawks, giving every passenger in front of her the straight arm, while doing an impression of Frankenstein, MUST…GET…STROLLER!  Just to be clear, I’m not anti-children on airplanes. I would just prefer they were not sitting in my row…or in front of me…or behind me. “Oh Boris, that’s terrible”.  Really?  When was the last time you were seated on the plane, and the seat next to you was vacant, and you see a mother and her precocious 3 year old hopped up on sugar heading your way, and you say to yourself, “God, I hope they sit next to me”.  Didn’t think so.  When this happens to me I ask the stewardess for a 26′er of Grey Goose Vodka, and get it set up for me via I.V..  Trust me, by the end the flight you won’t care if Lucifer himself was sitting next to you.  Zone 3 – 5.  All the other passengers, who upon boarding realize there’s no room in the overhead bins.  That’s okay though, they’ll just move your bag in the overhead bin somewhere else, with no regard to your property.

 So to Air Canada I say thank you for addressing the boarding process, and actually making it somewhat efficient.  Now if you could just set up a Day Care Centre in cargo…just kidding!  But for those of you who may have grinned when you read that, can I get you some vodka?

 Until next time,

 Cheers.